So much for an experience that could make your whole life flash in front of you...damn...in alucid and frantic way no less... i expected it to be in my solitary desolation...and this yearning for a real life experience leaves me inundated and soaked waist-deep in a raging deluge of river water, piss, shit, mud, sweat, spit, tears and everything else that was unprepared to the fluvial rampage that wreak havoc and severely stricken my beloved clean pink city in the untimely moments of that Saturday afternoon... whoever gave that typhoon such ridiculous name should be blamed for the torrential surge of tepid murky waters....i would have gone berserk too if i was baptized with a horrendous excuse for a name... and i am glad we're safe now...although that warm feeling of relief quickly disintegrates whenever i hear the tragic fate of others who were submerged in otherworldly levels of torrents...it actually feels worse when you know you're suppose to actually feel better even if you were half-dipped in a pool of brown water, with threats of diseases creeping into your soaking wet body, after hurling another refrigerator out of harm's way...then a washing machine... your pet dog... your god damn personal computer dismantled and saved into a higher ground... your television...meanwhile death tolls multiply and your favorite mall, a day after, is now reduced to a grim ruins of shards of broken glasses, wet appliances and goods stolen by scavengers in hope of salvaging something valuable...even if it was just a metal scrap of an air conditioner, fingers-crossed for another kilogram of wet corroded metal...
we are safe now...my favorite ps2 isn't...with memories of my recent NBA 2k9 game, a 158-56 thrashing of Sac Kings, giving me a slight pang of regret... but that ps2 was an actual human body for the other casualties of the calamity, that final score a memory of others that educe regrets for his her family members, worse it might hav been the only child of a couple somewhere, still reeking the stench smell of tragedy that beckoned their measly life... putting everything else in its proper perspective, we are still grateful, and you are too...good to know you only bicker for disrupted signals and black outs and the ennui that ensues whenever you are left in front of a low lit fire of a wax candle...they bicker for something bigger...and no it isn't fb...
that night really was the darkest...while others were trying hard to wake up from their bad dreams, i was busy trying to sleep from my own nightmare happening while i'm wide awake...this must have been the feeling of others...this isn't the experience that i wanted...no life flashed in my eyes...just fear...just fucking nothing...but waist deep waters, and the sad fate of others...
our spirits maybe dampened, bodies soaked and drenched with sweat tears and flood waters, memories washed away and photographs damaged(i failed to save the only photograph of you in my possession, that really feels bad,although the bigger truth feels worse, fluvial thoughts aside) house ravaged, but we will eventually emerge from this mess a better individual...hopefully...what doesn't entirely ruin/inundate your life (or in our part your beloved home) only makes you stronger...and please spare us from another typhoon,too...never give them a bad name again, at least extract something else from your creative juices, whoever you are whose job is to name potential disasters entering our area of responsibility...the philippines need more altruistic and selflessly devoted people and less cynics and selfish pieces of waste dump...
***at sa isang araw, i will be back doing things i am basically at worst...when did education became a breeding nest for future zombified somnambulistic employees?i am the future useless trash of humanity...the abject failure of every company group that sells itself as "success" and "future millionaires" which i will never ever trust regardless of whether they can really spawn successful millionaires(read: my classmate)...the non-productive statistic, the potential slacker of the capitalistic new era of corporate dressers...i want my life, and that's why i can't have it... this is not the proper way to live a prosperous life and this isn't the proper way to ruin a life, too...and if you ever have to choose between the two, at least do it right...nakakaasar na eh, wala ka nang nagawang mabuti, san ba dapat ako lumugar? hindi ganito ang tamang pagwasak sa mundo, at hindi rin ito ang tamang landas pra mabuhay...anak ng puta maling mali ako ah...hindi ko na-miss ang internet at facebook last week...at natuwa ako...at least nlaman ko na kaya ko pa pala mabuhay nang wala ang internet...di ko na rin naman na-eenjoy eh... somnambulistic and zombified indeed...we do something sometimes when we don't do something else...dyan at nagsimula ang noontime shows...phenomena ata ung ganun ngaun eh...or maybe not...
I read somewhere... how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong... but to feel strong...
"There are a lot of things we don't want to know about the people we love."
-fight club (kakatapos ko lng basahin...balak kong panoorin)